Parenting Practices: Follow Through

Yesterday morning Ben asked if he could have a turn on the Wii before school.  Having acquired some wisdom in all my years, I told him no and that it was not a good way to start the day.  When I left the room to do something else Ben not only got on the Wii, but he got Jacob on as well.  As a consequence he lost all screen turns for the rest of the day.  For some kids/families this would be no big deal, but Ben LOVES screens.  If he doesn't get a turn on any given day he gets upset and comes to me "But Mommy, I haven't had a single screen turn at all today." as if it an element essential for survival. 

"The human brain is a complex organ that exists in a delicate balance.  If the brain is deprived of oxygen, water, nutrients or screen time for even a short time it will begin to shrivel and die.  Life is not possible without these essential components." (Not an actual scientific statement) 

Sorry, I had a little ADD moment there.  

This morning I  heard Ben get up earlier than normal.  Usually when he does this he gets on to the Wii and as I laid there in bed I contemplated how hard the afternoon was going to be since I was going to have to take away Ben's screen time again.  I came downstairs and carefully and with out accusation asked Ben why he was up so early.  He had no reason so again with care and without suspicion I asked what he was doing while he was up.  

Ben: I started to get on the Wii and then knew I shouldn't so I turned it off.
Me: How long did you play?
Ben: Not at all, I was watching the titles and waiting for the game when I decided I shouldn't get on so I turned it off.
Me: I am really proud of you Ben and I am really glad that you made a good choice because if you had gotten on I would have had to take away your screen time again today.

Later we talked about the reasons why he had lost the turn yesterday (obedience and priorities) and I asked him how it felt knowing that he made a good choice even though it was hard?  His answers reminded me why I love having a sensitive child.

"I really wanted to play and Satan was tempting me to play and Heavenly Father was telling me not to, and I felt like I was being torn in two pieces inside." 

I asked him how it felt knowing that he chose God's side.

"It feels like me and God  can never be apart."

I loved his interpretation and knew that I would forget it unless I recorded it.  The added bonus is that as I have churned though my thoughts as part of the writing process I have realized I have learned the same lesson as Ben.  

Yesterday when Ben lost his turn he asked if there was any way he could earn it back. I had to tell him no because I really needed him to learn how important it is to not get on a screen without permission.  I felt like I was being torn in two inside, one side wanting to be the nice mom who can play and do what she wants because the kids are entertained, and the other wanting to be the mom that helps her children understand the consequences of choices they make when they are young and in the home where bad decisions don't carry such heavy consequences.  This morning the same struggle ensued as I thought of how today is a half day of school and Ben would have expectations of screen time that he could not have because he had broken the rules again.  

But, I chose the right yesterday in following through on the punishment, and I chose the right this morning when I decided that I would have to follow through again today if Ben had indeed gotten on the Wii.  It was a hard decision to make because I knew there would be weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth over it and I would have to deal with it.  But the joy and peace of mind seeing that Ben learned from the experience and came out alive even though he didn't have ANY screen time, was worth it all.