Like so many
others, I am asking the question, why did this happen? As a compulsive fixer I
want to identify a root cause to any problem so I can fix it quickly and
simply. Are guns the problem? Is public school the problem? Are video games and screens the problem…? I
am certain the solution to the many lives senselessly lost in school shootings
the past years is not so simple or concise.
I cannot condemn
any of these things. A gun did not kill
those children. A person using a gun
did. The stories coming out from the
situation in Connecticut are giving great evidence that the educators and
administrator were nothing short of stellar.
I am writing this
as a mechanism to process the mind numbing emotions, images, fears, and questions
I am asking. For example, do I pull my
kids out of school so I can keep them safe at my side? Has the time come where school is no longer a
safe place to be? I am not asking for
answers, rather demonstrating why I am writing and posting this.
So bare with me as
I process…I find it therapeutic. The way
I see it, there are a few issues that might contribute to the unhappiness that
so many people feel. First, maybe we
should all put down our cell phones, laptops, tablets, smartphones, T.V. remotes
or even our newspaper and book and look someone we love in the eyes and have a
heartfelt conversation. Maybe we should
stop running around trying to live a diverse and fulfilling lifestyle and
realize that we can have that right at home with the ones we love.
I am not condemning
any of these technologies, activities or desires, but we have a unique
situation where we have limitless possibilities at our fingertips. Most of the things we have to choose are good
choices and I think a lot of us (me included) get wrapped up too many things
because how do you say no to a “good” choice or opportunity.
Sometimes my kids
will get so bent out of shape because they had to empty the dishwasher
yesterday and it isn’t fair that they have to do it again today. Or their socks have been crinkled and
pinching them all day and that is why they were rude to their friend or
brother. We have had such a wonderful
life for so long I think we forget that we have it good. We have to choose between dance and taekwondo
when there are people who have to decide to live as illegal aliens in order to
feed their families, or they aren’t sure if the place they call home will even be
their home. My kids wake up in the night
because they had a bad dream, other kids wake up because of gunfire or sirens
announcing the arrival of some life threatening weapon. My children are not watching their cousins or
parents or friends disappear to some mysterious work camp never to return. We
need to remember that no matter how bad we think we have it, there is always
someone who has it worse so we can make the best of our situation.
I love technology
and its ability to supply me with ideas, uplifting quotes, entertainment and
connection to friends and loved ones far away.
It is amazing how far technology has come since I was in high
school. It is accessible to almost
everyone and information, entertainment, conversation are available in an
instant. I know people who get
frustrated when a page on the internet is loading slowly. Remember how amazing we thought the internet
was, even as we sat there waiting for 6 minutes as a page loaded? Or even better we would bring up a page and
go fold a load of laundry while the page loaded? The constant, instant stimulation that
technology gives us today is literally changing the way our brains work and by
golly if you don’t get what you want NOW, get ready for a rant, fit or
tantrum. People are brimming over with
anger and frustration because we have come to expect instant gratification.
Another wonderful
thing about our society is the freedom to choose. We are all so liberated and free to be
whoever or whatever we want. We don’t
have government officials telling us how to marry, dress, eat or worship. Unfortunately every good thing we have is abused
by so many and the result is that there are a lot of people out there who want
things to be a certain way because they have certain rights and in the process
they forget their neighbors or friends or family have rights too and neither is
important enough to remove the rights from the other.
Finally, I think
the media is appalling, and yet here I am contributing in my own way. But as I sat there reading the stories from
Connecticut and looking at the pictures, I couldn’t help feeling disgusted by
myself and the media. I looked at the
image of a woman crying and thought how can they be there and invade this poor
woman’s privacy and broadcast her grief and sorrow for the whole world to see? And yet I clicked through all those pictures
and went to find more reports on the incident.
The media is entertainment from movie to news. The media sets the stage for the show, but
they wouldn’t put the time, effort and money into the “show” if there wasn’t an
audience. Unfortunately there are some
unhealthy, unhappy people out there who want to create drama and the stage is
set and ready for their leading role.
For me part of the solution
lays in believing in a higher power. My
religion and beliefs help me to see that there is someone or something out
there that is greater than myself. I am
constantly climbing up my ivory tower then falling to the ground as I realize
that I have been selfish or uncaring.
Sometimes we need to get over ourselves and think about how we are treating
others and how our actions affect others.
I think we all need to have the words to one of my favorite children’s
songs from my church emblazoned on our foreheads as we discuss politics,
religion, or gardening; “Jesus (Buddah, Mother Earth, Ala the Goddess , insert
your preference here) said love every one, treat them kindly too. When your heart is filled with love, others
will love you.”
So put aside whatever
that pressing matter may be and love those that surround you. Recognize the amazing lives we have. Express gratitude for your trials and challenges
and how through them you gain strength, wisdom and compassion for others. And when everything feels hopeless and you
feel like no one is listening or no one cares, kneel in prayer and call out to
that higher power, even if you don’t know for sure there is one, and know that
you are never alone. You have a Father
in Heaven who loves you, wants your happiness and can lift your burdens. This is what has brought me peace.
I am not saying
that I have perfected this process. I
mostly wrote all of this for myself. I
am guilty of all of the things I listed as possible reasons our society is so
messed up, but I do know that if we could all love unconditionally, regardless
of belief in a higher power, the world would be an even better place.
